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Strategies for Coping with Stress During Your Surrogacy Journey

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Surrogacy is a life-changing path, offering intended parents the chance to grow their families and allowing gestational carriers to provide an extraordinary gift. While this process is filled with moments of joy and meaning, it also brings emotional and psychological challenges. Stress is a natural response to the uncertainties and demands of surrogacy, but with the right strategies, both intended parents and gestational surrogates can manage these pressures effectively and maintain emotional balance.

This guide explores common stressors in surrogacy and outlines practical coping tools to help ensure a positive, supportive experience for everyone involved.

Understanding Stress in the Surrogacy Process

Surrogacy involves navigating complex medical, legal, and emotional dynamics.

  • For intended parents, uncertainty about medical outcomes, financial strain, and reliance on another person to carry their child can create anxiety and feelings of loss of control.

  • For gestational carriers, the physical demands of pregnancy, the weight of expectations, and outside perceptions of surrogacy can add layers of stress.

Stress can show up in different ways—physically (insomnia, headaches, fatigue), emotionally (irritability, mood swings, sadness), or mentally (trouble focusing, persistent worry). Left unaddressed, prolonged stress may affect decision-making, strain relationships, and diminish the overall surrogacy experience.

Coping Strategies for Gestational Surrogates

Gestational carriers play an incredible role in family building. To stay emotionally and physically healthy, self-care must remain a top priority. Consider the following approaches:

  • Prioritize physical health: Get quality rest, eat balanced meals, and stay hydrated. Prenatal yoga or light walks can also promote relaxation and ease pregnancy-related discomfort.

  • Stay connected with others: Joining support groups for gestational carriers—whether online or in person—can provide a safe space to share experiences and find encouragement.

  • Maintain honest communication: Regular check-ins with intended parents help set boundaries and foster trust.

  • Seek professional guidance: Therapy with a counselor experienced in reproductive health can provide additional strategies to manage stress and emotions.

Coping Strategies for Intended Parents

For intended parents, surrogacy can feel like a rollercoaster—filled with anticipation yet tempered by waiting, uncertainty, and limited control. Helpful strategies include:

  • Set realistic expectations: Accept that delays, medical setbacks, or unexpected changes are possible parts of the journey.

  • Stay informed: Ask questions and request updates from your surrogacy team to ease uncertainty.

  • Practice stress management: Journaling, meditation, and visualization exercises can provide emotional release and resilience.

  • Build a support network: Rely on trusted friends, family, or surrogacy support groups who can validate your emotions and offer encouragement.

Shared Coping Strategies for Surrogates and Intended Parents

Since surrogacy is a partnership, both parties benefit from strategies that emphasize trust and collaboration:

  • Open dialogue: Regular conversations about progress, concerns, and expectations prevent misunderstandings and strengthen bonds.

  • Celebrate milestones: Acknowledge achievements together—such as successful embryo transfer or pregnancy milestones—through small gestures of gratitude or joint celebrations.

  • Respect boundaries: Clear boundaries help maintain emotional safety and ensure that each party feels respected and supported.

When to Seek Professional Support

While stress is normal, it’s important to recognize when it becomes overwhelming. Warning signs may include:

  • Persistent anxiety, sadness, or hopelessness

  • Changes in appetite, sleep patterns, or daily functioning

  • Emotional withdrawal or difficulty concentrating

In such cases, professional counseling is recommended. Therapists specializing in surrogacy and reproductive psychology can provide coping strategies, validate emotional experiences, and create a safe space for processing challenges.

Embracing the Journey with Strength

The surrogacy journey is a powerful experience, but it requires intentional care of your emotional and mental health. By incorporating coping strategies, prioritizing open communication, and knowing when to seek professional help, intended parents and gestational carriers can navigate stress with resilience.

At PECGNA, we provide tailored psychological evaluations and ongoing support for both intended parents and gestational carriers. Our goal is to help you manage stress effectively, ensuring a supportive and fulfilling surrogacy journey.

Contact PECGNA today to learn more about our surrogacy psychological evaluation and support services.

Originally published by Dr. irada Wattanavitukul on PECNA.com in 2023-2025. Republished here to preserve the integrity of original authorship.

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FOUNDER

Dr. Irada Wattanavitukul, Ph.D., LPC., LMHC

Licensed mental health professional with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology

Dr. Irada received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology (Los Angeles) and is a highly respected licensed mental health professional with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology with specialized training in trauma-informed care, neurodevelopmental assessments, and immigration evaluations. She is deeply committed to supporting individuals and families impacted by trauma, abuse, and developmental challenges, offering evaluations and guidance tailored to their unique needs.

Dr. Irada works extensively with survivors of violence, victims of crime, and individuals with developmental disabilities, ensuring they receive the support and resources they need to thrive. Her compassionate approach helps people navigate the emotional and psychological challenges that often accompany these experiences. Additionally, she plays a critical role in helping families stay together by assisting those going through the immigration process. She understands the emotional toll of separation and provides evaluations and support that empower families to advocate for the protections and accommodations they deserve.

In addition to her work with trauma and immigration, Dr. Irada has completed specialized training in Psychological Evaluation for Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) through the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). As a member of ASRM and its Mental Health Professionals Group (MHPG), she supports individuals and families on their family-building journeys. Her evaluations help identify emotional needs and provide guidance to ensure the well-being of all involved.

Dr. Irada’s expertise and dedication have earned her national recognition. She holds an EB-2 National Interest Waiver (NIW) status, a prestigious acknowledgment of her significant contributions to mental health in the United States. Her work with high-need populations—such as trauma survivors and individuals with developmental challenges—has had a meaningful impact, helping many achieve healing and personal growth.

By combining her expertise in forensic psychology, trauma-informed care, neurodevelopmental assessments, and family support, Dr. Irada has become a key figure in her field. Her compassionate and thorough approach not only benefits individuals and families but also strengthens communities by fostering resilience and well-being.